Story of a suicide :The book ย reviewย
In brief…
Story about Hari,Mani, Charu and Sam.
4 young college students coping with life,love and college.
Less college more about the other two.
The book starts with one attempted suicide and ends in another.
The beginning was a bit slow but the story caught fire and has a high octane ending .
On reading the book,Iย found 6 ย issuesย to ponder :
1)The lack of emotional quotient in highly intelligent people.
2)Lack of insight about own actions and their results.
3)Confusion about love, relationships, and the meaning of life.
4)Difficulty dealing with rejections and negativity.
5)Freedom of speech and why it shouldn’t be abused.
6)The empty world of social media and the lack of reality check.
7)Sexual orientation and society: Does it matter?
ย
The four protagonists come from different family backgrounds.
Common factor : insecurity.
The characters :ย Story ย of a suicide
Sam really had no excuse to behave in that horrible way. He was arrogant and rude to his last girlfriend. Confused, mean, and a coward with this one. He portrays the classic insecure male who loves a good chase.
Charu is obviously confused. Her outrageous behavior hides screams from a lonely life.In all her fake courage, she is still a lonely girl with no friends.
The college professor she adores is married. Getting into meaningless relationships because she can , makes her more and more angry and abrupt.
No one knows who exactly her anger is directed towards.
Freedom of speech and freedom of choice both ultimately have to deal with karma.
It’s difficult to delegate blame in the story. The life lost was unnecessary.
Sexual choice and orientation is personal.
Whether it goes against social rules or is personal freedom more important?
Should relationship, sexual orientation be the cause of ridicule and social pressures?
Difficult questions face us.
Ultimately it is about choice.
Jealousy, immaturity, and sexual aggression can spoil bright futures.
The book deals with several important social issues.
*Childhood Abuse
One of the characters was physically abused in childhood. Received the love and support of his mother. He did well academically. But the childhood scars seem to overshadow his destiny.
His problems :
Inability to speak English Solution:The government needs to ย improve the basic education .Learning in your mother tongue us ideal .But if that puts you at a disadvantage ย , the system needs a review.My hubby studied in a village school, in Bengali. In medical college heย was always among the top ย 10.He taught himself to speak fluently. His self-confidence helped him cope and do well.
If you have studied in your mother tongue it’s great.It ย shouldn’t cause you to ย breakdown.If you have come this far , you can do it.
Another protagonist was sexually abused in childhood.His family didn’t believe him.But otherwise he was cared for .
He didn’t receive any family support or any help to cope with his trauma.He was the least to blame for the problems that unfolded. But he hadย no ability to cope .
# Life hackย 1
Childhood abuseย in any form without any help, is difficultย to cope with.
Counselling is important .
The childย needs to feel safe.He/she needs the assurance thatย he is not to blame.Believing inย him /her is the first step .
Though both theย protagonists who were abusedย haveย good academic records.But lackย emotional strength.Protect your children from abuse.Talk to them .Believe them. Give them support .Talk to a counsellor if required .Some scars need treatment.
For adults who have been abused.Actively seek help.It’s never too late.Remember you are a survivor.That makes you special.Giving up is not an option.
Childhoodย shapes a child’s personality and behaviour. Trauma at this stage will affect ย emotional, ย social,psychological development.
No childย is unscarred after abuse.
Unfortunatelyย abuse is often done by a trusted person.This makes the child unsure in his/ her relationships .The guilt and fear he/she ย carries will change his life .But there’s help at hand .
ย
Child help line number 1098
Child sexual abuse:Get help
*Realityย and Relationships
Relationships seem to be muddled ,with love not coming into the equation.
Why a married college professor would allow a female student to spend the night at his place is anybody’s guess.
To his credit he admits that his wife will not like it.But spoils it by saying he has often done stuff ,not to the liking of people who love him.
Promiscuity has a degrading effect on the self.The question of love,lust, multiple sexual partners affects your physical and emotional health.Love and physicalย relationships seem to be supporting characters ,in lives full of insecurities.
#Life hack 2
Love is a beautifulย emotion.Friendship is beautiful. If you look for positive people ,you will find them.Don’t be desperate for love.It comes when it’s time .Till then love life.Love yourself and take care
*Living life in Social Media
A totally unnecessary Facebook post spiralsย the story into no man’s land.This part is reflective of how the youth today lives in social media world.Often losing touch with people,reality and consequences.
#Life hack 3
If you discuss your private affairs on social media ,it’s an open invitationย to pervertsย to join the party.Keep your private life private.Your personal opinion share with friends.Not onย public mode on social media. Social media has a few bylaws .
One of them is,”
if you throw brick bats expect to get a few back.”
*Peer Pressure:Myth or Reality
Peer pressure is a cause of stress if you let it. Dealย with itย properly .Otherwise it willย cause depressionย ,anxiety and social distress.
When childrenย grow up parents are often unable to help them with peer pressure and bullying issues.
That’s because children stop listening. They stop because as parents we judge,scold and rebuke them.The same behaviour they get from bullies but in a negative way.
To the child facing these issues, life becomes unbearable.
It’s important we teach our childrenย to cope with issues ,without crashing into substance abuse and suicide.
Many difficultย life situations can make the struggleย difficult.
Having someone to talk about the problemsย can help cope.
Support will help prevent severe depression.
Unresolvedย stress canย lead to substance abuse.One wrong decision can cause lifetime of regrets.
Avoid use of addictive substances as coping tools .They will cloud your judgement and make a wrong decision a fatal mistake.It will increase stress and influence your judgement.
It’s good to fit in .But doingย and sayings things just because you can ย and your friends find it cool,will backfire.
The female protagonist has a viewpoint about other people’s judgement. But she judges everyone and herself all the time.
Unresolved childhoodย issues lead to adult relationship problems.
Insecurity causes heartbreaks and more insecurity. Vicious cycle of self sabotage ,self loathing and selfishness.
Whenever you do anything.Think.Would you want someone to do the same to you?
#Life hack 4
Do unto others as you want others to do unto you :Bible
Each actions always has an equal and opposite reaction:Newton’s third law.
Don’t deliberately hurt others and think they should respect your freedom of speech and action.
The events that happen is not a surprise .What’s surprising is intelligent adults in famous institutesย do foolish things. Even professors take actions, which hardly show their intelligence or wisdom.
# Life hack 5
What’sย important is to be grateful for the opportunities you have.
If a relationship is bringing you down sucking your positivity and leaving you empty.Its important you recognize the symptoms and not let it drown you.
You me and the person sitting next to you have a few difficultย people in our lives. Plus more than a few challenges .
All these ย problems, challenges and difficult peopleย made me what I am today.
I wouldn’t be who I am without the troubles I went through.
Life is difficultย but your choices can make it easy or difficult.
Which part do I relate to most?
Charu’s expression of anger on a very public platform.Her satisfaction at the reactions it generated.
But unable to cope with similar free speech by other people.That’s one of the most difficultย lessons I am trying to learn.
People will give back, what you throw at them.But why are people cruel with confident women .
Whether her actions are right or wrong isย for her to judge.But even before she actually does something, she is constantlyย judged.
My view:As long as it’s her lifeย she can choose how she lives.If her actionsย break a marriage ,hurtsย an innocent ,there will beย consequences. Ultimatelyย she is a lonely person with no real friend.
ย What she needs is a good friend .
# Life hack 6
Choose your words carefully.
Wordsย can create magic.Good or evil will depend on how you use them.Goddess Saraswati is said to reside in your words.
#Life hack 7
Self-esteem is a very important measure of self.Its precious .When you destroy someone’s feeling of self it creates chaos.
#Life hack 8
Be kind in your relationships.All may not work out.Even if you are not friends you need not create enemies.
Conscious choice makes you humanย and unique.Choose carefully.
Life is precious.Live beautifully.
Disclaimer
This post is part of a competition in association with Indiblogger and NalandaWay ย foundation. All opinions are my own.
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CourtneyLynne says
Oooo now this sounds like one interesting read! Might just have to check it out for myself
dramrita says
Yes it is an interesting book.Do check it out.It’s available as an online book.
Roxy says
This book sounds pretty deep. Awesome and through job analyzing and reviewing!
dramrita says
Thanks Roxy.Glad you liked it.
Kate says
This sounds like a very interesting book. A sensitive topic, but it sounds like it was done well.
dramrita says
Thanks Kate.Glad you liked it.
Jasmine Watts says
I love reading books and this sounds like a great book! I need to check it out!
dramrita says
Yes Jasmine, do read it.It’s a good book and gives you interesting insight.
vandana says
Hi,
I really liked reading these life hacks, you have explained everything so nicely.
I will keep these tips in mind
dramrita says
Thanks Vandana. I am really glad you liked it.
Jess says
I’ll definitely have to check this book out, as I think it’s a really important issue to read up on. Mental health is not something many people discuss openly, and that really needs to change.
dramrita says
Yes Jess,mental & physical health go hand in hand. You can’t have one without the other helping.Glad you enjoyed this.
tp keane says
This sounds like a truly amazing book. So very real and necessary to talk about. Must pick up a copy.
dramrita says
Yes its good.You can read it online. It’s currently freely available as part of an awareness campaign.
Ann Cromer says
Great review. This book sounds very thought-provoking and sad. I just may have to read it. And I like the way you list all the things you’ve come away with after reading it.
dramrita says
Yes Ann I really felt I needed to sum up the positive takeaways from this book.Otherwise the sad events may appear depressing to the reader.It’s actually like life .You go through the lows to reach the highs.
Meg Kerns says
You bring up several good points to ponder. I’d also like to read the book as well! I’ll look into it. Thank you for sharing!
dramrita says
Thanks Meg.Glad you liked it.The book is available for reading online.Do give it a look.
Arvin says
Superb review again as expected. Every Life Hack mentioned here is amazingly described. Glad to have read another beautiful review… And expecting more wonderful reviews in the future…
dramrita says
Thanks Arvind.Wonderful that you liked the life hacks.Just my way of getting a little positivity spread ????
daytodayMOMents says
Wow seems like a great read in the end from what you got out of it, great thorough review.
dramrita says
Thank you so much.Glad you liked it.
Carryn says
I’m really interested in this book… Your blog was intriguing
dramrita says
Thanks Carryn.Glad you liked it.
Leslie says
This is an interesting book.
Mardene Carr says
I love a good book review. I read a lot and sometimes book reviews give me an idea of what next to read
dramrita says
Thanks Mardene.Hope ypu liked this one.
Kayvona says
It is really unfortunate how common suicide is now days, especially in younger people. I definitely feel like society needs to be more aware and everyone should know the signs.
dramrita says
Yes Kayvona,you ate absolutely bang on.Society needs to give a helping hand.
Melanie says
That book sounds like an interesting read. I wish therapy were free in the US. Then more people could afford to go. Great tips!
dramrita says
You are right Melanie.Affordability is important. The book is interesting definitely.