When I initially thought of writing this post, I wasn’t sure how much I should say. Should I talk about the not so good and painful parts? Or should I just focus on the beauty of giving birth which is akin to a miracle? That’s the one time you feel like a superwoman.
I finally thought that it would be a good idea to share the whole of my experience.What helped me and what guided my soul and how I prepared for what was going to be the most important journey of my life.
15 Startling Truths No One Tells You About Giving Birth
#1 While giving birth is a miracle, the pain is real. Be ready for the pain. The good news is that it doesn’t pain all the time, but when it does, it hurts really bad. You will crave sedation and loads of painkillers. Unfortunately, all of that is not good for the baby. So, there will be some pain before, during or after.This is what you need to know about giving birth for the first time.
Be ready for the immense warm, fuzzy love spreading through your body and numbing the pain. The love you will feel for your child can compare to nothing. It’s when you become a mother that you know how fiercely protective you can be.
#2 Being a mommy is the most significant adventure and the hardest challenge. All of you who are mothers know that the best way to get ready for normal delivery is to attend antenatal birthing classes. Learning this with your partner is going to be the best experience. If not spouse at least a friend who can be with you during these classes helps to a great deal. Making a baby and giving birth-both need help.
Unfortunately, you will find few places in India focusing on this aspect of maternity care. But this goes a long way in making your body ready for giving birth. So, the effort of looking up and attending these classes is totally worth it.
Antenatal classes and guidance is something Sitaram Bhartia Hospital in New Delhi is trying to stress on. Ethical practices, the disclosure of normal delivery and cesarean rates, transparency in patient feedback policies are their USP. As a doctor, I know that fetal monitoring during delivery is one of the parameters by which the decision for the type of birth is arrived at. Their exceptional normal delivery rate of 88% (2016) shows the expertise and dedication of their doctors to the cause.
While exploring the services they offered, I saw that their cesarean rates for moms with a prior normal delivery, with a single baby in the head-down position who cross 37 weeks is < 2%. Now this one sounds complicated but is again proof of the ability of their doctors to choose the right case for each type of delivery. Knowing when to choose which procedure on a case to case basis makes pregnancy and childbirth a miracle and a challenge. The right doctor to patient ratio, transparent costs, and ethical practices is how this hospital set the right example of how maternal and child care facilities should operate.
#3 Your spouse will be a new parent too. Don’t expect him to know everything. Just like you, he is learning. Grow a few patient bones because you will need all of them.
#4 When I was planning a baby, I was working in Delhi. I was a typical ‘doctor going to be the mommy’- incessantly worrying about everything under the sun. While finding the best gynecologist in Delhi was easy, what wasn’t easy is finding a good nanny to train.
If you are a working mom, please accept that you will need help. Talk to friends, neighbors about good nanny centers and daycare. Even better try to start a daycare facility at your workplace, with support from management Nowadays corporates want to help retain sincere and intelligent woman in their workforce, so this may work out. If not try to leverage work at home options with few office visits.
All this sounds premature when the baby is inside. But believe me, this is what will steal your sleep for the next several years.
#5 Plan a well-balanced and nutritious diet. If you are already overweight, you may need to put on lesser weight than someone who has a normal pre-conception weight. Talk to your doctor about exactly how much you should gain. Excessive weight gain is associated with an abnormal increase in blood pressure, gestational diabetes, thyroid dysfunctions all of which needs to be avoided as far as possible.
#6 Walk and do what you love to keep fit. Yoga and exercise need to be discussed with your doctor. While pregnancy and childbirth are a natural process, every mother-to-be needs individual care. See what works for you and do exactly that. A little exercise goes a long way in making your mood better and keeping you fit. It will keep those happy hormones flowing.
Embrace your body’s transformation but try to keep fit as much as you can.
7 Read positive, inspiring stories and self-help books. Watch the positive news and overall keep your happiness quotient high. Your child feels every mood swing and hormone change. Pre-birth stress affecting the fetus is a reality, and you should keep that in mind before you decide to binge watch horrors. Avoid negativity at all costs.
#8 Don’t try to google your way through medical jargons.Unfortunately, there are no quality checks for whats available online. If you want to know the truth about something about your health be aware but talk to your doctor before making any changes to your routine. A good and experienced doctor talks with years of experience and knowledge behind her/his words.
#9 Listen to music because your unborn baby can hear pretty early on. They can even recognize angry voices. Talk to the little one, tell her/him about your dreams and aspirations. Sing to them, tell them a story. They will be listening.
#10 Have a group of family members who are a phone call away. In the mad rush of balancing life and a career, we forget the human connection. Believe me when I say that you will want all your cousins and friends around you to help at the weirdest of moments. A dear friend’s wife helped me out when my mom was unable to babysit. Her kindness left a mar. I realized that it really takes a village to raise a child. Unfortunately, we seem to be growing further and further away from our own tribe. So, keep your tribe close. Be there for them, and you will have angels reaching out. Remember- God always helps, you just need to ask for it.
#11 Talk to your health insurance provider/agent and get paperwork in order. Talk to the hospital’s insurance person. Insurance needs calm discussion, and in the excitement of giving birth, you can’t have financial loopholes.
#12 Keep some cash handy. With all the digitalization you never know when cash is needed.During stressful times we often forget password and pins.
#13 Keep a hospital bag ready with all essentials. I had my Kindle and charger stashed in it from the last 21 days. I also kept my lip balm and my favorite lipstick. It does help with the impromptu photoshoots when you can put on lipstick before you leave the hospital.
#14 Take your supplements. They are very important to keep you and the baby healthy.
#15 Know your blood group, your husband’s blood group. Also, keep a few friends ready and primed if you need help with blood transfusion at any time. It sounds weird but hear me out. I talk from experience.
I am Rh negative, and no immediate relative or friend had the same blood group. While hospitals I know have stocks, I slept more peacefully knowing a friend of a friend was a ready and fit donor.
Above all pray hard. Yes, prayers always help. You may be non-religious or an atheist. It doesn’t matter. You can always talk to the universe and send your gratitude out there. They will come raining down as blessings for your child.
Disclaimer: This post is meant to share my experience and knowledge.All medical procedures should be done after a professional consultation with your doctor.Kindly read my full disclaimer.
Sharing is good Karma!
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Nice Post
Really handy tips for the mother to be. Loved the ending, pray hard, prayers always help. #SuperBloggerChallenge2018
Very valid points Amrita. In our pregnancy we tend to worry about too many things and having a helping hand is a must.
Wish I read this 15 months back. Would have been super helpful. I spent all the time eating chocolates and watching stand up comedy on youtuve
Very informative, article, Dr.Amrita! And, I did follow most of them during pregnancy 🙂 Inviting you to read my Week 9 post
What a wonderful post Amrita with a lot of gems for going to be moms out there. Yes. Training a nanny and finding one that’ll stay is a huge task.
A great post. All the points are well presented and worth reading.
A perfect guide for expecting mothers.
This is real honest yet useful post. Finding a
nanny in Delhi is difficult and costly too. When I came back from my home town I send mad. Eventually my mother in law took care of my new born.
Very useful tips. Crisp and to the point to ensure no confusion for expecting mothers.
I agree to all these tips Amrita. Especially I think we should stress on asking help when needed. Yes. Working moms need help. If they don’t take help from family or friends, they get depressed easily post maternity.
amazing post, now a days awareness regarding pregnancy is reducing the chances of complications and keeps mother and child healthy #superbloggerchallenge2018.
Nice and informative post . SInce Mom could connect and understand what you have written , Eating healthy & being happy is so important at that time .
#Superbloggerchallenge2018
It’s a lovely post Amrita. When I was on my way becoming mom. I did many things good but in the end it’s the doctor we trust. Finding those classes was impossible task. And when I had to go through surgery i was taken aback, I hadn’t slightest idea what to do and how nor my mom in law. Still we sailed through. I just wish little more attention to be given to the most important and challenging phenomenon on earth i.e. birth. Yes we as female can give birth but we are not
totally programmed for the process. Though we learn, We need more help and concern.
True that.We need more help definitely.
“In giving birth to our babies, we may find that we give birth to new possibilities within ourselves.” – Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn. Great post highlighting the hidden nuances behind childbirth.
Thank you Parag.
Agree to every point mentioned, well penned. Being proactive surely helps especially in the last trimester. #superbloggerchallenge #instacuppa
True.
It’s is an extraordinary post. I am sure it’s gonna help me wen the time comes. Thanks a ton.
Pls read my week9 post for #superbloggerchallenge2018 #instacuppa
Thank you.Will read.
Totally agree with each point!
I think what really helped in this journey was that at professional front I kept my team & seniors informed about my pregnancy at a very early stage. This helped in a smoother transition for me before proceeding to maternity leaves as well as the person who came in my position at work. Since I was carrying twins I wasn’t too sure of the time I would have been able to justify my work thus this arrangement made a lot of sense to me!
An excellent post for all expectant moms (and dads) out there! I had no access to ante-natal classes and oh how I wish I had! I love your comment about music. I listened to music all the time, and produced three musical kids. But the most musical of all developed to the sound of a piano accordion balanced on my ever-extending belly! I actually played it for a sing-song within hours of going into labor! The wonder is he wasn’t born deaf!
That’s wonderful Shirley.Thank you for sharing your lovely memories.Music does help!
Very helpful post for Moms to be
This article is what all new moms should read first. Yu have put all the great pointers all together. Thanks for writing up this post.
some very helpful advice, it was overwhelming becoming a new mum, I had never been so happy or felt so blessed and yet felt so afraid all at once. The love was so intense it felt like it physically hurt me when she cried. Now I am adjusting to being a mummy to a teenager. Motherhood is a constant challenge and opportunity to grow and learn. Thank you for supporting #mg link up this year. It will return in January.
I totally agree to you about the Do not google all medical jargons point. That is something that drives all expecting moms crazy – overload of information.
So much you’ve written here is apt and true. Loved the post.
Good to know!
Lovely blog not a mommy yet so can’t relate but I am sure all these advises will help me soon thanks ☺️
this is really a informative post and you had explained each points so well. no doubt, being a mom is a journey that shows a wide spectrum of emotions since pregnancy to child birth and during post-partum too. being prepared physically and mentally can help a lot to deal with challenges.
I think walking, music and reading worked best for me. All these points are very helpful.
Some good tips..I liked the idea of lipstick in hospital bag..hahaha..
This was an extremely helpful read, made me rethink about all the pressures that were unnecessary, i think i feel peaceful with myself after reading this post.
I agree to all your tips especially about exercising and walking. It’s very good to be active during pregnancy for many reasons
True story, dear! What a beautiful article, with all facts ????????????????
This is a very informative post for all the moms-to-be. Prenatal classes are the least heard of and people have to be educated on the classes available and yes the blood tests are very much necessary even before one tries to concieve.
This is a very informative post. There are so many small things that people don’t think of before delivery, especially the blood group point.
It made me nostalgic, brought back all the memories of delivery room. All points are important and must be paid attention too. It is better to be a bit prepared before you head for the delivery room 🙂
Thanx for the detailed post, u have well explained everything which a would be mom must know… Will surely share this with my friends.
These are some truely beautiful facts one needs to know before planning to start a family. It’s better to be prepared and become aware ☺️
This was a lovely read. Such informative pointers for a new mom. would love to share it with a frd expecting a baby soon 🙂
This is a very informative post for all moms to be. I always see women depend on google for all answers…tey sit and google all their symptoms and doubts doctors advice which needs to stop
I was looking forward for a list of gynaecologist as my friend is pregnant. And just saw your post. My friend read it and she has benefitted from this a lot.
very well written and detailed post. i have heard about point 7, but now that you have written it, i realise the validity and truth of the same.
Thanks Ishieta.Glad you liked it.
Motherhood is a remarkable journey indeed! The more help a mother gets the it is appreciated 🙂 Loved reading this article and came to know about few things like parenting classes which i do not know of before. Very informative article and going to share it right away. Many should read it!
Thank you, Keerthi .I am very glad you found it useful.
Many of the points mentioned here are so important. I hope many to be mom’s do get a chance to read this post. Great job.
When a Doctor shares these pointers going by self experience and training, the credibility touches new highs!
Kudos to you Amrita for a detailed, honest post.
Thanks Anagha .I am very happy you liked the post.
All points are so important.. I agree with no. 8 point.. We should not google regarding any medical changes.. Better to consult the doctor first.
These tips seem so real. I thought I wrote them . Music helps a lot.
These are some great tips for an expecting mother! Thanks for sharing 🙂
Pain is real. Learn abt pain management techniques. Eat right and take your supplememts is most important part of pregnancy and delivery.
Such important and helpful tips for all the mommies to be
Very useful for new parents…especially those who are going to have their first baby
i can relate to each and every point mentioned i was a working to be mommy too and taking help is really wonderful…sitaram bhartiya is one of the trusted names and needless say the best in delhi
Very valuable… Will definitely share it with my friends
This is such an informative post for moms to be. All the points are very well covered.
This post is a must to read for young girls, because we have so many queries about pain during birth
Very important points that every expecting mother should know. Glad to know Sitaram Bhartia hospital has antenatal classes.
There are so many important things a mom to be should know. These are great pointers to help them.
Number 8 is super important. To Google our way and try to implement without an experts advice is crazy
Very true .It does get crazy!
Great effort is doing by Sitaram bhartia through Antenatal classes and their Approach towards Normal delivery sounds secure and safe even in complicated cases it results are fruitful
Yes I felt that too Dr.Bushra
Passing on this post to my pregnant cousin!
This reminded me of my pregnancy days. The pointers are spot on. This makes for such a wonderful and enlightening read for all would be moms.
Thank you so much.
prenatal classes are new to me too!! we did know about the baby being able to hear … we used to hear a lot of soothing music to help the babies respond.
True that.
Such an important topic which actually needs to be talked about, thanks for sharing!
Staying positive was the first thing on my list when I was pregnant with my son. It really helps. Prenatal classes are also a big help. Liked how you have penned down this article. Very helpful.
Thank you Nisha
This one is a landmark post in this field. I request all to share this as much as possible so that all are befited.
Cheers!!
UK
Thanks UK
Certainly very very useful tips for all would be moms. It is so important to relax from all the stress and activity which comes with a pregnancy.
Yes true
Very useful and informative post for all expecting moms. I liked your views about “Your spouse will be a new parent too”!!
Thanks Hiral
When I was Pregnant, I’d think on good and always positive vibes. I stayed away from stress because I know It can affect the baby inside, and I listen to music. And thanks for the best Gynecologist in Delhi, for Being a part of Normal delivery. I have now two kids, the things in my life that I treasure the most.
So happy for you.
I like how you put the good, the bad and the ugly all out there. And you busted some common myths too. Every mother-to-be needs to read this piece to help her prepare well.
Thank you Tulika
Thank you for mentioning that moms-to-be should listen to positive stories. I don’t know what it is about women who feel the need to share their birth horror stories with a first-time mom, but it makes me crazy. Great post!
Thanks for the honest feedback.
This post is a must for every lady out there. Thanks for sharing the information
Hello, never knew about prenatal classes. Thanks for introducing it here. I gave birth to a baby girl few months back and truly relate to aforementioned steps and experiences plus even am rh negative so it was scary to know that initially but phew everything went smoothly.
P.S : pls do a post on infant care too.
Hi Shalini thank you so much .Will do.
🙂