On an auspicious day of the Bengali month Kartik this year, we prayed to the mother Goddess Kaali for light and wisdom. In India all over, usually, Goddess Laxmi and Ganesh are worshipped. Some Bengali Hindus also perform Lokkhi puja on this day in the evening. This puja is always done on a new moon night.

Some Bengali Hindus pray to Goddess Laxmi and also Maa Kali. If you are confused about this, let me simplify.

You pray to Maa Lakshmi(Maa Laxmi/Maa Lokkhi) or Maa Kaali, but it’s the Mother Goddess you pray to, who will gift you good fortune, wealth prosperity, and shakti or power. The eternal questions and answers aside, growing up we used to visit a Dida-r bari(Grandma’s home) during Kali puja. This grandma had a Maa Kali temple adjoined to her home.

Beleghata-r dida as we fondly called her was not a relative by blood or marriage but was the kindest, gentlest, most empathic grand- parent influence I had in my life. She was one of the few people who told me I was a good girl(everyone insisted on calling me talkative and naughty). Now tell a child they are naughty, repeatedly and they will show you what naughty means. Not one for giving parenting advice, but being a mom is a lesson in self-improvement. Kids learn from watching what we do rather than listening to what we preach. So it’s a tightrope walk.

But I digress. On Kaali puja we kept fast until we could give Anjali.The late-night pujo was mostly attended by my mom, while my sister and I caught a bus home after the prasad bhog.

We lit the lamps, and a few phuljhari and always took care of safety and health precautions. But they don’t make good stories, right? It’s our experiences and how things made us feel, which give us the glow that we so need.

There’s something about childhood memories. Even without whitewashing, they were fun. It was especially more fun after I had a sister to teach me the finer points of life. You can also check out her blog where she writes about baking, life, gardening, and all things wellness .

Our memories become sharper and more nostalgic as the year’s pass. You remember the good stuff and all that hurt you deeply and made you grow. Everything else becomes a fuzzy background. But remove the background and you are as real, as a character from a cartoon movie. It’s like the perfect cake. The right amount of flour, sugar, salt, butter, and eggs. Give it a little of this and the cake tastes different. Remove a little bit of the essentials, it becomes blah.

Beleghata-r Dida died in 2011 and I stopped going to Beleghata after that. But I continue to pray to Maa Kaali after offering my puja to Maa Laxmi in the evening. Lighting Pradip or Diya, bursting the firecrackers to ward off evil, sharing stories and memories with my little one who prays with us. Some memories will forever be bittersweet.

Esho Maa Lakshmi,bosho gharey.Thako ma Lakshmi ghar alo korey.

(Please Mother Laxmi, come into my home . Please stay here and keep it lighted.)

Praying that the world lights up with health, wealth, happiness, and prosperity for everyone on this day and hereafter.