Self-love is a favorite topic.I once read
If you find someone to love you as much as you love yourself you will live happy.Anon
So the first step is to love yourself deeply madly crazily.
If that sounds crazy, be crazy.Do not let your self-love dry up.
Be your own bestie, be kind to yourself.Forgive yourself and let yourself live.When one thinks about the different types of love their trials and tribulations, the easiest should be self-love right?According to psychologists, it’s not that simple.
Selfish self-centered and narcissistic are all siblings.They are the different clones of the same self or ego.The one you will feed more will grow (wisdom alert!)
Narcissism by definition(Wikipedia)
Narcissism is the pursuit of gratification from vanity or egotistic admiration of one’s own attributes.
But healthy balanced positive narcissism or self-love is needed to develop self-esteem and self-love?This is Dr.Jekyll!
This concept was not researched in detail by Freud but by Paul Federn.
Psychologists suggest that healthy self-love is an essential part of the self or ego.
It is needed for self-preservation.
Even when you love with all your being try to keep a part of yourself deep within your soul.This is the protection that preserves your soul from all outside evil disruptive forces.This fragment of your self is the narcisstic part of us which wants to survive, to flourish to grow.
Children need this sense of self-preservation groomed into their childhood.Otherwise it tough.
But what if you love yourself too much?
If your quest for fame fortune and starshine outshines normal social norms and is at the cost of other relationships, maybe its time to pause.
While its impossible to go forward in life without self-love, self-confidence and a good dose of self-esteem, it’s equally important to have empathy and feeling of social inclusion.
When we focus too much on me we may actually lose we.
[bctt tweet=”Tending to a tree is good .But overlooking the forest for the tree is not good.” username=”misra_amrita”]
The important thing to remember hardcore narcissism is according to Freud one of the three dark triadic personality traits.The other two are psychopathy and Machiavellianism.Meet Mr.Hyde!
Food for thought anyone?
The only answer to this question from me.It’s complicated.
A balance is needed .Just like everything else in life.
Writing this to start off #MondayMommyMoments this week.Do check out my Republic Day post on the 26th.
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Being delusional about self importance can be detrimental for sure; love the research Amrita and the twist to the self love topic via it
This indeed is a complicated topic. I would restraint from too much self indulgence lest I’d be obsessed with myself and not know how to deal with others.
Yes thats a real risk!
Doc, you have rightly pointed out that balance is needed. Also what I liked the most about your post is where you mention to forgive oneself. I have to learn that.
Thank you Aesha.
Wow so well. Worded. I agree self love boosts confidence and is important to have a positive attitude and personality. However too much anything is bad. There should be a healthy balance.
Yes, I believe that too.
Too much of anything is bad and I am glad Freud agrees with me 😛 Self-love is important to give you inner confidence but totally agree that without empathy and compassion it can easily miss the mark
True Neha
This sure is an awesome article and an eye opener for money. I specially loved the thought on – Overlooking the forest for the tree. Seriously sometimes people seem to get so self focused. Great read and nice tips to be taken back. Btw wat mainly inspired you ?
Self love is the best love. I keep on telling my girls to love themselves first as its very important to be confident. I believe its the true love as it helps you in the long run.
This a well balancing post, self Love is definitely needed – but when this self love becomes too much overpowering, it creates issues.
Self love makes me confident healthy and happy. But agreed everything is good when done in limits
excellent write up and I agreed with each point, especially with last one, it is very important to maintain a balance otherwise we lost the we, we all need to learn maintain that balance.
I agree that too much me will result in ignoring we. There needs to be a balance in everything we do.
Self love is important, you can’t be happy if you don’t love yourself. I atleast believe in it.
totally agreed healthy narcissism much needed to live a healthy and happy life. But we shouldn’t overlook our relations being in self love
This was a really interesting take… Didn’t know the thing about the triadic personality issues.
absolutely right agree with u
I love the lines that when we focus too much on me then we is lost!
Thanks for linking up with #whatilove
Thanks Zainab