Story of a suicide :Book review & Life hacks

Story of a suicide :The book  review 

In brief…

Story about Hari,Mani, Charu and Sam.

4 young college students coping with life,love and college.

Less college more about the other two.

The book starts with one attempted suicide and ends in another.

The beginning was a bit slow but the story caught fire and has a high octane ending .

On reading the book,I  found 6  issues  to ponder :

1)The lack of emotional quotient in highly intelligent people.

2)Lack of insight about own actions and their results.
3)Confusion about love, relationships, and the meaning of life.

4)Difficulty dealing with rejections and negativity.

5)Freedom of speech and why it shouldn’t be abused.

6)The empty world of social media and the lack of reality check.

7)Sexual orientation and society: Does it matter?

 
The four protagonists come from different family backgrounds.
Common factor : insecurity.

The characters : Story  of a suicide

Sam really had no excuse to behave in that horrible way. He was arrogant and rude to his last girlfriend. Confused, mean, and a coward with this one. He portrays the classic insecure male who loves a good chase.

Charu is obviously confused. Her outrageous behavior hides screams from a lonely life.In all her fake courage, she is still a lonely girl with no friends.

The college professor she adores is married. Getting into meaningless relationships because she can , makes her more and more angry and abrupt.

No one knows who exactly her anger is directed towards.
Freedom of speech and freedom of choice both ultimately have to deal with karma.

It’s difficult to delegate blame in the story. The life lost was unnecessary.

Sexual choice and orientation is personal.
Whether it goes against social rules or is personal freedom more important?
Should relationship, sexual orientation be the cause of ridicule and social pressures?
Difficult questions face us.
Ultimately it is about choice.
Jealousy, immaturity, and sexual aggression can spoil bright futures.

The book deals with several important social issues.

*Childhood Abuse

One of the characters was physically abused in childhood. Received the love and support of his mother. He did well academically. But the childhood scars seem to overshadow his destiny.

His problems :

Inability to speak English Solution:The government needs to  improve the basic education .Learning in your mother tongue us ideal .But if that puts you at a disadvantage  , the system needs a review.My hubby studied in a village school, in Bengali. In medical college he was always among the top  10.He taught himself to speak fluently. His self-confidence helped him cope and do well.

If you have studied in your mother tongue it’s great.It  shouldn’t cause you to  breakdown.If you have come this far , you can do it.

Another protagonist was sexually abused in childhood.His family didn’t believe him.But otherwise he was cared for .
He didn’t receive any family support or any help to cope with his trauma.He was the least to blame for the problems that unfolded. But he had  no ability to cope .

# Life hack 1

Childhood abuse  in any form without any help, is difficult  to cope with.
Counselling is important .

The child  needs to feel safe.He/she needs the assurance that  he is not to blame.Believing in  him /her is the first step .

Though both the  protagonists who were abused  have  good academic records.But lack  emotional strength.Protect your children from abuse.Talk to them .Believe them. Give them support .Talk to a counsellor if required .Some scars need treatment.

For adults who have been abused.Actively seek help.It’s never too late.Remember you are a survivor.That makes you special.Giving up is not an option.

Childhood  shapes a child’s personality and behaviour. Trauma at this stage will affect  emotional,  social,psychological development.

No child  is unscarred after abuse.
Unfortunately  abuse is often done by a trusted person.This makes the child unsure in his/ her relationships .The guilt and fear he/she  carries will change his life .But there’s help at hand .

 
Child help line number 1098

Child sexual abuse:Get help

*Reality  and Relationships

Relationships seem to be muddled ,with love not coming into the equation.

Why a married college professor would allow a female student to spend the night at his place is anybody’s guess.
To his credit he admits that his wife will not like it.But spoils it by saying he has often done stuff ,not to the liking of people who love him.

Promiscuity has a degrading effect on the self.The question of love,lust, multiple sexual partners affects your physical and emotional health.Love and physical  relationships seem to be supporting characters ,in lives full of insecurities.

#Life hack 2

Love is a beautiful  emotion.Friendship is beautiful. If you look for positive people ,you will find them.Don’t be desperate for love.It comes when it’s time .Till then love life.Love yourself and take care

*Living life in Social Media

A totally unnecessary Facebook post spirals  the story into no man’s land.This part is reflective of how the youth today lives in social media world.Often losing touch with people,reality and consequences.

#Life hack 3

If you discuss your private affairs on social media ,it’s an open invitation  to perverts  to join the party.Keep your private life private.Your personal opinion share with friends.Not on  public mode on social media. Social media has a few bylaws .
One of them is,”
if you throw brick bats expect to get a few back.”

*Peer Pressure:Myth or Reality

Peer pressure is a cause of stress if you let it. Deal  with it  properly .Otherwise it will  cause depression  ,anxiety and social distress.

When children  grow up parents are often unable to help them with peer pressure and bullying issues.

That’s because children stop listening. They stop because as parents we judge,scold and rebuke them.The same behaviour they get from bullies but in a negative way.
To the child facing these issues, life becomes unbearable.

It’s important we teach our children  to cope with issues ,without crashing into substance abuse and suicide.

Many difficult  life situations can make the struggle  difficult.
Having someone to talk about the problems  can help cope.
Support will help prevent severe depression.

Unresolved  stress can  lead to substance abuse.One wrong decision can cause lifetime of regrets.
Avoid use of addictive substances as coping tools .They will cloud your judgement and make a wrong decision a fatal mistake.It will increase stress and influence your judgement.

It’s good to fit in .But doing  and sayings things just because you can  and your friends find it cool,will backfire.

The female protagonist has a viewpoint about other people’s judgement. But she judges everyone and herself all the time.
Unresolved childhood  issues lead to adult relationship problems.

Insecurity causes heartbreaks and more insecurity. Vicious cycle of self sabotage ,self loathing and selfishness.
Whenever you do anything.Think.Would you want someone to do the same to you?

#Life hack 4

Do unto others as you want others to do unto you :Bible

Each actions always has an equal and opposite reaction:Newton’s third law.
Don’t deliberately hurt others and think they should respect your freedom of speech and action.

The events that happen is not a surprise .What’s surprising is intelligent adults in famous institutes  do foolish things. Even professors take actions, which hardly show their intelligence or wisdom.

# Life hack 5

What’s  important is to be grateful for the opportunities you have.
If a relationship is bringing you down sucking your positivity and leaving you empty.Its important you recognize the symptoms and not let it drown you.

You me and the person sitting next to you have a few difficult  people in our lives. Plus more than a few challenges .
All these  problems, challenges and difficult people  made me what I am today.
I wouldn’t be who I am without the troubles I went through.
Life is difficult  but your choices can make it easy or difficult.

Which part do I relate to most?

Charu’s expression of anger on a very public platform.Her satisfaction at the reactions it generated.

But unable to cope with similar free speech by other people.That’s one of the most difficult  lessons I am trying to learn.

People will give back, what you throw at them.But why are people cruel with confident women .

Whether her actions are right or wrong is  for her to judge.But even before she actually does something, she is constantly  judged.

My view:As long as it’s her life  she can choose how she lives.If her actions  break a marriage ,hurts  an innocent ,there will be  consequences. Ultimately  she is a lonely person with no real friend.

 What she needs is a good friend .

# Life hack 6

Choose your words carefully.

Words  can create magic.Good or evil will depend on how you use them.Goddess Saraswati is said to reside in your words.

#Life hack 7

Self-esteem is a very important measure of self.Its precious .When you destroy someone’s feeling of self it creates chaos.

#Life hack 8

Be kind in your relationships.All may not work out.Even if you are not friends you need not create enemies.
Conscious choice makes you human  and unique.Choose carefully.
Life is precious.Live beautifully.

Disclaimer

This post is part of a competition in association with Indiblogger and NalandaWay  foundation. All opinions are my own.