#BeBetterThanYourself” Startling Secret in the Parent-Child Relationship Dynamics 

Life as a child is not easy. Life as a mommy is not easy. But what exactly is easy?But does that mean children should bear the burden of their parents’ worries?

NEVER.

But sadly, they do!Every time a parent display disappointment with their kids’ grades, studies, career choices…the children bear an impact bigger than parents can ever imagine. And that’s the secret – Children understand your worries. They get your vibes.

That’s why the ITC Classmate Television commercial #BeBetterThanYourself touched my heart even more. Children know when you are disappointed.

 

 

At home, we try talking to each other through our brain waves. Yes, it sounds weird but try it with someone who gets your vibes and you will know what I mean. When people sync together (like your Gmail accounts over devices do) they understand each other’s thought processes. That’s why as a parent, you and me, we have our work cut out.  Children will know when you don’t believe what you say. They will see whether you walk the talk. Raising a good child obviously starts with the parent.

If we want them to do well in life we have to give them resources but not spoon feed. We have to give them a blueprint but encourage charting own course. As a parent, we all want the best for our child. But what if you feel what they are doing is not good enough? Should we scold them? Not say anything? Judge ourselves? Think we have failed?

No, no, no!

The key to this is the balance. The time of adolescence is when the brain biochemistry undergoes massive changes. People are sensitive, malleable and are likely to test boundaries. All of which are important. The sensitivity makes them pick up your body language cues. The malleability makes them accept your guidance even if its silent. Testing boundaries are good. Encourage them to do their best. Regular study habits and timely revision will make exams stress free for you and her. Early habits go a long way.

When children don’t do according to capacity, its time for a talk. It’s time to check those leaks. Talk to her ask her what the issue is. Try to help guide and make her find her own solutions.

ITC Classmate’s Be Better Than Yourself television commercial stole my heart. It says exactly what we should say as parents.

But what about marks, grades, ranks?

I am a doctor and  I have always done well in exams consistently. But I have rarely come first in school exams. I think I had too much going on inside my brain. This was something my mom used to say

Try to do your best. Go one step ahead with every exam. Look at your own report cards, not others.

In our entrances, I chose to sit only for premeds and not the engineering entrance whereas combined exams were such a rage. I just didn’t find my calling there. But being a doctor was a dream! My mother supported me in this choice. But she was worried. By God’s grace things worked out.

As a parent, you and I have the important task of speaking to a mind which is growing into an adult. They are open to ideas, thought processes and lifestyle habits. They need to know that doing well in exams are important. Learning is important, getting good grades are important. But most important is this realization that self-improvement through education helps you first.

When I ask my daughter what she wants to be when she grows up. She says she wants to be a Doctor like mommy and daddy so that we can be together even when we work. She also plans to have a cake shop where we can bake together. Daddy and she in charge of the actual baking, mommy in charge of the brainstorming recipe and the marketing. Also, she will be working on our blog with me before bedtime.

This made me smile.

I forgot to tell you, we also want to learn to fly one day Maybe a bird will teach us or a technology will be available. But with children, we need to start dreaming. Make them feel accomplished with what they draw for you and make for you. But set benchmarks, to make them realize that life is easy and fun only on the surface. But you need to do the hard work and smart work on time.

Childhood and adolescent are the time for growing physically and mentally and becoming stronger.

As a parent, we need to learn how to help them and support them reach their potential, make their spirits smile and guide them gently. But also teach them to choose. Choose to do the right thing. Choose the good friend. Choose the right path.

Choose self-sufficiency and smart work. Realize that each of us has something special in us. Life is a maze challenge where the pot of gold is actually the treasure inside you which you have to find.

3 Things you should not discuss in front of your child

• Some other child’s result or their parents.
• Criticize their teachers.
• Blame yourself or her.

 

[bctt tweet=”Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. ― Oscar Wilde” #BeBetterThanYourself #ITC Classmate username=”misra_amrita”]

The truth of the matter is employability of education and skills are important. While being an expert at something is always recommended there is no harm in pursuing creative fields too. Its a world of enormous potential. It’s time to be an expert generalist. But make it fun. Education and learning are great. What’s not fun is making it boring. As a parent, we need to make it relatable, guide and help choose. We need to encourage self-improvement and not an external comparison. We need to always strive for excellence inside and outside with the only competition being own self! And that is where the mother in the ITC Classmate #BeBetterThanYourself campaign is bang on when she tells her daughter 

[bctt tweet=”“yeh doosron ko nahin…khud ko beat karne ke liye”  ITC Classmate #BeBetterThanYourself” username=”misra_amrita”]

 

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