Few people are purely extrovert or introvert.But children growing up have a difficult time knowing this.Why children? Even adults are often confused by their need for solitude.
Most people are a balance of extraversion and introversion.The percentages are flexible and can change with life’s challenges and situations.
People who enjoy social gatherings a lot are extrovert and those who don’t enjoy them so much are called introverts.But this is not an all or none trait.I enjoy parties and my friends.But not necessarily mindless socializing.
I also like my me time and solitude.Does that make me an extroverted introvert or an introverted extrovert ?
Whatever it is we need to learn to get along with people and live in society.If your child shows tend to avoid social gathering’s its time you had a a talk,
Is it always particular gathering?Friends, family or neighbor?
Does she,he enjoy the company of friends and relatives?
Does the behaviour change while socializing at home or at another place?
Does she have self-image issues?
All these questions need to be answered before we force children to mingle.Most children enjoy playing with peers.
But what if they don’t?What if they ignore, avoid and don’t enjoy?
Dangers Signs of social avoidance which you should know
- Lack of eye to eye contact
- Obsession with one particular toy or object
- Enjoys repetitive play
- Lack of interest in surroundings
- Enjoys solitary play at all times
- Inability to mingle.
- Inability to express their needs properly.
If your child expresses any of these signs talk to your doctor.
Otherwise, parents need to look inside and see how they themselves behave socially.There lies the clue to making children social.Do introspect about your own childhood behavior.What made you happy and what did you avoid?What about your partner?Behaviour patterns and personality types have a genetic influence too.
Then it’s time for you mommy to show how it is done!If you want her to be social, you have to be social too!.The best time to adapt children’s behavior is before they are five!
My Top tips to make socializing fun for the little one:
Have play dates at home.Start playing with your child and her friends and help them play together.When children enjoy playing they start socializing
Show them the fun part of socializing.The dressing up and anticipation.The joy in meeting friends and having a good time.
The food at parties will help too.Make them realize we are a part of a bigger family where we need to show up and be there for each other.
My sister used to resist going to family events because they bored her.At one age we all tend to get bored at social dos.Guess what?I carried my story books and sat and read in a corner with her if there was no body our age.Smiled and talked when someone approached and went up to say hello if we saw a favorite aunt or uncle!Mommy happy and sister happier!
Now as adults I still carry books and my kindle to public events (you never know when you may need it ).I also need a lot of solitude.Impossible in my profession and with a 5-year-old around.So now my solitude has a different definition.Me and Rai cuddling and playing hide and seek, followed by me doing some work or reading while Rai draws or plays with her dolls.At work, I try to have an emotional protective barrier on, to avoid becoming overwhelmed (happens with introverts in large crowds).
My little one likes socializing but not loud parties.She likes meeting friends and families and is always happy to visit them .I need more inspiration to meet strangers, friends and family than my daughter !When I was in high school I realized
Sometimes it’s better to be alone, than in bad company and suffering all the negative effects of peer pressure.
That realization came after loads of heartbreak .A hard lesson difficult to learn.So for me introvert or extrovert whatever it is, my child is adaptable.She is happy in the company she keeps and finds good company to keep.My work and responsibility are to help her find the good in people and the good people so that she enjoys being social.
[bctt tweet=”You are the average of the Five people whom you spend the most time with.” username=”misra_amrita”]
I have realized I like meeting people who have happy vibes.Problem is you don’t know till you meet them !I am treating this as an adventure and teaching my daughter the same .Hope she will be better at this than I am.With this happy thought, I am writing with you for #MondayMommyMoments.
Tell me how you teach your child social skills?